I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
