just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
3 2 1 whiskey
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
