I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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