you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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