I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
