Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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