I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
