My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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