I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need to sanitize my soul.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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