Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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