I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
