i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
