Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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