the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
