it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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