I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
