Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
