Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
