im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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