i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
