porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
