my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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