i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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