Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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