i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
