A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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