If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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