if you like me you must not know who I am
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
