dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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