Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
