so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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