You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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