At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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