i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
