Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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