Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
