the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
never play flip cup with pint glasses
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
