She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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