Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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