I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Randomize