I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
