some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So apparently I’m into choking now
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
