She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
