did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
