But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
