yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
