dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
