Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
vagina is talking i cant
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize