Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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