Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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