the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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