i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There r osticjed everywhere
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
