I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
