it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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