Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
