But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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