I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
