I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
