you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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