Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
