I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
