And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
