My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
