So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Alive.
So much puke
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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