It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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