so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
