im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
