I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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