By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
