I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I could fuck to npr.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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