There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I fill condoms, not promises.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
