Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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