Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize